Is it safe to go back in the water?

You know the scenario. The beach on Amity Island has been closed, the grubby Mayor is concerned about the detrimental impact on tourism and Chief Brody is caught between a rock and a hard place. They reopen the beach but everyone is scared to go back in the water. Eventually they take the plunge and a pet dog called Pippet and Alex Kintner are the collateral damage.

Now I am not suggesting that my Mrs is a vicious Great White Shark, but after last weeks golf fuelled nuclear fallout I am proceeding under a degree of uncertainty. It looks as though our plans to go to the christening and stay up on Saturday night have been altered. In their place are an up and back on the same day approach. This potentially provides the opportunity to play some form of golf on Saturday...but is this the suicidal equivalent of popping in for quick dip on a shark infested beach?

At present my heart says no, it will be fine, nip up for a quick lesson and a bit of putting practice. My mind says are you fecking out of your mind! You forgotten last week already! So I've decided to be a man and show some balls. However, the thought has seemingly caused my testicles to retract like those of a well trained sumo wrestler. Having assumed this weekend was a write off I used the "well I'm not playing next week" card as justification for last weekend's efforts. I anticipate devastating retribution for suggesting  breaking of that entente cordial. Like England's troubled historical relationship with France I fear this turning into another 100 Years War: a period steeped in tension punctuated by outbursts of violent conflict. Keep a watching brief, if I'm not back by Monday fear the worst...