Squatter's Dinner party...

I'm excited, nervous, full of expectation, anticipation and trepidation. Organising your first proper Golf Monthly Forum meet is one thing, doing it at a course where you are not a member is another. So I thought I'd go for a third completely insane option: host it a course you've never played before! So far things are slotting into place. Playing order predetermined, proposed prizes purchased, paraphernalia packed, lack of precipitation preordered, putting practice performed, playing strategy planned and preposterous prose punched in.

Ready for the off and once everyone has arrived, scoffed bacon rolls and swooped coffee the most nerve wracking moment will be minutes away. The opening tee shot. It could have been worse, I could have been showing the way. Then Flarkey swooped in like an angel to my rescue as a local to lead the way. But now on the eve of the game I think that this saving grace may turn into the stuff of nightmares.

I can picture the scene now. The tight avenue of trees line the tightly mown grass before opening up to reveal the heavily bunker guarded green. But Flarkey has seen it all before and reaches confidently into his bag plucking the club he knows to be perfect for the shot. His ball is caressed sweetly from the tee and arcs through the warm summer air before dropping gracefully onto the green like a butterfly with sore feet. A couple of hops and it stops dead in its tracks fifteen foot from the cup and a chance for an opening birdie. The calls of "good shot", "well played", "I'm glad I'm not up next" are punctuated by a deathly silence as I stride to the tee.

Two years of typing, blogging and sharing have come down to this moment. I feel their eyes bore into my back. I'm trying to forget they are there but my mind is swimming with nerves, fear and swing thoughts. A couple of practice swings and then I'm standing at address. Willing the tension away, concentrating on my target, only my target and then I start my backswing...